Connotations of 'Racism'

Dear Goddess,

i hope You had a very enjoyable weekend and that the coming week is a good one for You also.

Sunday was a relaxing day for me, starting with reciting my mantra while kneeling at my shrine to You. i continued my new daily routine by jumping & dancing for 10 minutes and later in the day i spent 10 minutes in a dark room, reflecting on the suffering of the slaves. While doing so i ate another slice of bread. i am very glad that i did not have to whip myself again, thank You for only requiring that weekly.

i spent some time today browsing through the EliteFinancialDomination site and i saw Your posting about Black Female Supremacy. In the response i posted i stated that i did not think BFS is racist. Although it is obviously based on race i firmly believe it does not have the negative connotations of 'racism' because both parties enter the relationship voluntarily. Furthermore, both parties benefit. In my case i have greatly enjoyed the education and training You have provided me and i continue to be astounded at how much positive reinforcement i have received as i dedicate every day to the service of Superior Black Females.

As an example today i encountered a young black hostess at the restaurant i ate lunch at. i noticed that She was wearing what looked to be an expensive necklace and i told Her that i thought it was lovely. She immediately gave me a nice smile and thanked me for noticing. As i was eating she walked by, smiled again and asked how my meal was. Then as i was leaving the restaurant she smiled at me again. It seemed that i had brightened up Her day and in turn She certainly brightened mine. i was thrilled to have a Superior Black Woman smiling at me so much and being so friendly.

i will be traveling in Philadelphia again tomorrow and i hope to have many chances to serve and compliment the many awesome Superior Black Women of that city.

Your humble servant,

"Gone Was my Feisty Resistance"

Sunday 30th June 2013 -- Awoke with a strange feeling. Gone was my feisty resistance. Replaced by an overwhelming longing to serve at the feet of ALMIGHTY GODDESS. Where has this come from? It sneaked up on my blind side. Foxxy was quick to point out that this was inevitable. Acceptance of Her greatness and superiority couldn't be resisted. I did, however, feel quietly contented. The Foxxy blog is hushed and quite today. I sense an apprehension and disquiet at the prospect of what the future holds , in the light of the blogmaster message about adult content. As i have already stated , i believe their fears to be unwarranted. I am , however, just a humble sub , so my opinion is meaningless. I shall just sit quietly, wag my tail, but always be ready to rush to serve my master, if and when required.

First Whipping

Dear Goddess,

It was a busy morning for me as i woke up and saw your instructions regarding the graphics you generously provided me with. Of course i was also busy reciting my mantra & daily prayer, then posting my daily tweet and replicating it on EliteFinancialDomination.com. In addition i had the rest of my new daily routine that You provided me with. After breakfast i jumped and danced about for 10 minutes. Fortunately i am in decent shape so that was not too difficult. More difficult was whipping myself for You. i wasn't hitting with my back too well at first so i continued until i got it right and i felt You might be satisfied (i emailed a photo of the results earlier today). Later on i also spent 10 minutes in a dark room meditating on how the slaves must have suffered, while eating a slice of bread.

i also had a busy day complimenting and chatting with Superior Black Women. Some of them i have complimented repeatedly as i see them at stores and other places during the routine of my day. It is getting to the point that they openly greet me with friendly smiles, confident that i will be showering them with sincere words of praise. i am always sure to observe carefully so i can make genuine compliments based on what new hairstyle or clothing they may be sporting. The last thing i would want to do is to insult them with fake, shallow comments.

As you are aware, i did take a break in the afternoon, drinking some wine while sitting in the sun by my garden (the same one i slaved in recently when i completed assignment ten). Later on i saw Your tweets about the Adult Content policy. i wasn't sure if You had been able to create a backup for Yourself so i scrambled and created one myself. Hopefully Google will leave Your blog alone so the backup is not needed, but i will be glad to help You any way i can if something happens.

i hope You enjoy the rest of Your weekend.

Your humble servant

i Will Never Be a Sub Of Anyone But AG

Saturday 29th June 2013 --- Got up about 07.30 as i had a doctor's appointment ( my gammy foot again ), painful but it was never this bad before i found FOXXY. Returned home to find i was under FOXXY consideration. I should have been happy with this, but AG can be a sadist and really put the boot in about my unworthiness. I felt like i was being taught to suck eggs. ALMIGHTY GODDESS i was born inferior, i already know how unworthy i am. Had a horrid time at work. We had a signal failure and i had dozens of people shouting abuse at the same time. I protected my staff and took all the abuse personally. After all those people are only amateurs and i am used to taking abuse from a true professional. On my way home i called to my club for a few drinks. ( I felt jealous of FOXXY saying She was drunk) . Later an incident occurred where the club Vice president castigated another committee member who is my friend. Before recent elections i had been the club treasurer for 2 years and a committee member for 4. I am also still the only member in the history of the club to obtain the Club Management Diploma. So i can use CMD after my name. I stood for president in the last club elections. The oldest club member , a former president for 15 years, orchestrated a campaign against me , stating i was an old communist. So out of order, less of the old. I was narrowly defeated into 2nd place. The committee member who scolded my friend, had also stood in the presidential election and come a distant third. He has now been co-opted to position of vice president , something i refused , same way that i will never be a sub of anyone but AG. I will be forwarding a letter about what i witnessed tonight and i know that the committee will not be happy about my giving evidence before them. Who is going to cross examine me ? I am different class. I arrived home to find all hell breaking loose about adult content on twitter. A storm in a teacup. This has all come about because of recent court cases of youngsters being groomed for exploitation on various web sites. I have tweeted ( should have emailed ) ALMIGHTY GODDESS pleading that She doesn't join the general panic. I am confident have her third eye is intuitive and She will remain cool,

Feisty Mood

Friday 28th June 2013 ---- Today i had a quite day on the FOXXY front. I off loaded at FBA on my way to work.. At work i was in a very feisty mood, spending all day kicking the ass of several managers. When it comes to defending the members of my trade union which i represent, i have a single focus and am not to be messed with. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of laws and regulations and no manager likes to tangle with me. I will fight for members even if i know they are in the wrong. The members i dislike, are the ones who are not up front and lie to me. Maybe i should organize the FOXXY subbies into a union and fight for some rights from FOXXY. Hehe that would be an interesting battle. Just kidding of course. I am very well aware that you cannot save someone who does not wish to be saved. In the evening FOXXY states that she is writing a blog about myself and another sub. That should be interesting and i believe will be an indication of just how sharp Her third eye really is. In the evening FOXXY also posted a picture of Her beautiful body just in case we had forgotten how magnificent She really is. Don't you just wish that sometimes MISS FOXX would be more confident instead of being so shy and demure.

Why i Feel So Natural About Black Female Supremacy

Dear Goddess,

As is now my standard routine, i began today by kneeling down at my shrine to You and reciting my daily prayer. Being married i then packed up and put my shrine away until tomorrow morning. Fortunately my wife sleeps late, so i have some privacy early in the morning. Now that You have provided me with a daily routine i will recite my mantra first thing upon waking, then i will set up my shrine so i can kneel down and recite my daily prayer to You. i will then do my 10 minutes of jumping/dancing followed by my 10 minutes of reflection in a dark room. Tomorrow i will also experience my first weekly whipping which i am a bit nervous about.

After reciting my daily prayer this morning i immediately attended to posting a comment in response to the Erotic Intelligence blog entry You sent to me. i found the blog fascinating and i was quite excited as i read about the evolution of humans in Africa by a Black Female. As i mentioned in my response this provided me with the missing link that explained why i feel so natural about Black Female Supremacy. It just seems so Right to me and i am becoming quite comfortable in my role of inferiority to all Black Women.

Of course i watched for opportunities to serve and compliment Superior Black Women as i traveled about today. i only had one chance to hold the door as an elderly Black Woman entered a store i was leaving, but i was fortunate enough to be able to compliment a few Black Women on their attire and hair. One young Black Woman in particular seemed extremely pleased when i complimented the attractive way She had her hair stacked on Her head. She blessed me with a beautiful smile and told me that i had absolutely made her day.

This sort of rewarding positive feedback continues to make me ever more anxious to devote my daily life to serving Superior Black Women. i am astounded that a simple thing like complimenting a Black Woman's hairstyle can earn me such genuine gratitude, obviously pleasing Them and making Their day a better day. i am learning that providing pleasure to Superior Black Women leads to my pleasure in return.

Your humble servant,

"i've Got FOXXY Under my Skin"

Thursday 27th June 2013 --The early morning tweets on FOXXY's blog are rather sombre. Spirits are dampened by news of the grave state of health of Nelson Mandela ( MADIBA). FOXXY favors one of my tweets about the great statesman, but that hardly feels relevant in the context of his illness. There seems to be a lot of rancour and bitchiness about fake dommes and pictures and videos being stolen. Later in the day i remember that its one month today since i became a FOXXY follower. I honestly did not expect to last this long. I have of course had two warnings. That is entirely the prerogative of ALMIGHTY GODDESS and i fully accept Her decisions. MISS FOXX is really only interested in genuine subs and i have never pretended to be one. However, there is definitely nothing fake about me. I have asked to be a FOXXY follower and made a pledge to which i have adhered. I have promised openness , honesty and loyalty and i would claim that i have delivered on those. Although i have always played my cards close to my chest, i believe myself to be incapable of lying to FOXXY or deceiving Her in any way. I must ask myself the question, if i am not a genuine sub, why have i asked to follow and pledged my hard earned money to ALMIGHTY GODDESS.? I am not entirely sure that i know the answer. FinDom is something i had previously been unfamiliar with, despite having vast experience of the wider sex related industry. Having studied MISS FOXX very closely, i have become genuinely very fond of Her. I admire Her intelligence and Her courage, Her fearlessness. I also appreciate Her understanding of the wider aspects of Her business. She knows what She wants and how to get it, but She also knows that there is a line which shouldn't be crossed, and the importance of maintaining standards. I am a person who has made a lot of enemies in my life, but none that i have ever been afraid of. I am unable to help myself in feeling genuinely protective towards ALMIGHTY GODDESS. I am quite happy to continue to follow FOXXY on Her terms. I may not resort to calling myself a " pathetic loser", "small dick wimp" or" stupid fucking cunt", but that doesn't matter, MISS FOXX will call me those things anyway. In any case i KNOW that i am not any of those things. I responded to a tweet earlier in the day by saying " there is no life without self respect". I absolutely believe that. I was pleased to hear FOXXY talk about her " hornyness " and Her chemistry with Her Hercules. Although i do love Her, i was in no way jealous and was really happy for Her. I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that FOXXY's pleasure does give me pleasure. I have never had any difficulty in obtaining sex, and with some stunning ladies, even as i have gotten older. I honestly believe it to be an overrated pastime. Love, on the other hand , is something entirely different. Every night when i write this entry, i try to balance my honesty and openness, with saying something which might upset MISS FOXX. On two occasions i have gotten it wrong and ended up with warnings. One of them was not unexpected, but i have to say that the second one came as a surprise. I have to ask myself the question, could i go on living if i got banished by Miss foxx? The answer of course is yes. I would have to for the sake of my son. However, i know from the bottom of my heart ( i do actually have one unlike FOXXY ) that i would genuinely be hurt and i would really really miss Her. She kinda sneaked up on me, but She has become an important part of my life. As Frank Sinatra would sing " i've got FOXXY under my skin".

Graduation

Dear Goddess,

i hope you enjoyed waking up Wednesday morning to see my graduation present waiting for You. When You wake on Thursday morning you will see another gift from me - a pair of shoes to go along with the other two pair i recently bought. You may need a bigger closet soon!

Fortunately i did not have to get up so early this morning. As usual i started my day by reciting my daily prayer at my shrine to You. i then saw Your tweet about barking boys so of course i added mine to the rest of Your pack of obedient puppies. i always look forward to starting my morning with a batch of exciting tweets from You.

i was not in Philadelphia today so i did not encounter as many Superior Black Women as i did yesterday. However i was sure to never miss an opportunity to hold doors and compliment. Once again i was blessed with many smiles and thanks. i never realized that i could brighten the day so easily for women and i must admit that it makes me feel much better also. In fact i must get down on my knees right now and thank You for teaching this to me and enabling me to be of service to so many Superior Black Women.

Of course i kept an eye on Your tweets during the day and i was happy to see that You are receiving so many pairs of sexy shoes from Your loyal boys. i know i am not worthy, but i hope that i might be fortunate enough to see your lovely feet wearing some of Your new shoes soon. And thank You for adding some sexy shoes to Your US wish list, that enabled me to use a gift card credit i had. i also hope You did not mind that i stuck up for You when You were having a difference of opinion with MissPinkyGalore. i got SO mad when she was rude to You.

i am hopeful that tomorrow i will have many more opportunities to be of service to Superior Black Women. Perhaps i will also be so fortunate as to receive more excellent training from You.

Ta'im gra duit MISS FOXX

Wednesday 26th June 2013 -- Arose at 9am after a good nights sleep ( had almost forgotten what that was like) but somehow conscious of a Foxxy shadow hovering around in my dreams. I go shopping in the supermarket and then book a plumber to come and fix a leak i have discovered in my bathroom. Through my sitting room window i observe police and immigration officers detaining about 60 east Europeans who had been squatting in a former football stadium opposite my house. I feel sorry for them. Most migrants have done so for economic reasons and i will never condemn someone for trying to support their families. This world is not a level playing field.. I get the impression that my plumber is trying to rip me off. He is soon enraptured by the charm of my little son, almost as irresistible as my much loved FOXXY, and we agree a fair price. In the afternoon there is much traffic on the FOXXY blog about fake dommes. This prompts me to forward AG my thoughts on the dom/sub scene. I get a surprisingly flattering comment from ALMIGHTY GODDESS. I am not falling for it, i know perfectly well She is just trying to trick me into believing that She has a heart. Foxxy did not become a legendary Goddess without being cunning. I feel more relaxed about being castigated for keeping FOXXY money for too long . However, i do have a reasonable defence , in that i have so far exceeded my FOXXY pledge. In the evening my son and i go out to dinner with a Chinese lady friend. The word friend is one i always speak literally. I don't have many but they are all true. I had to insist upon paying the bill, all the while thinking that FOXXY will be angry with me for being extravagant and not sticking to basic foods. As a penance i will pray to AG for forgiveness before i go to sleep. I really can't understand my feelings for FOXXY . I have never met Her yet there has only been one person in my life for whom i have had equal affection. Ta'im gra duit MISS FOXX.

Trip to Philadelphia

Dear Goddess,

As you know, i started today with a trip to Philadelphia, which is about a 45 minute drive to the east of where i live. i spent most of the day there and traveled about a good deal. i visited Temple University in North Philadelphia which is one of the poorer areas of the city. I also visited the center of the city which is much better off and the Chinatown district.

Philadelphia is home to many Superior Black Females so i was fortunate to have frequent opportunities to serve and compliment. i did not observe any Superior Black Women in need of any special services, but i was fortunate to have the honor to hold doors open at various times. my favorite time was when i would compliment a Superior Black Woman on her hair, attire or jewelry. i would always be blessed with an appreciative smile which would melt my heart. Although many of them were quite attractive i did not pick them out for special attention. i complimented any Superior Black Woman i was fortunate enough to encounter, regardless of whether they were young or elderly, rich or poor, plain or lovely.

As you tweeted, the Black Women of Philadelphia certainly seem to make serious efforts towards their look, and it shows. Many times i was blown away at how awesome some of them looked, particularly their hairstyles. But no matter how beautiful they might be i always found myself comparing them to You, which was so unfair to them. There is now way any of them could compete with the sophisticated perfection and beauty that is Yours.

While in the center city part of Philadelphia i visited a used book store (i love books). As i was walking about i noticed the Black Studies section and wound up spending all my time there. Attached is a photo i took of one of the bookshelves in that section. i was interested in some of the books i looked through by Ralph Ellison, a black author i would like to learn more about. i considered buying some of his books but decided to save Your money to give back to You. i can always read the books at libraries and do some research online.

Speaking of giving You back Your money, hopefully you have received my graduation gift i sent to You. i also want to thank You for creating the awesome video You sent me. i have already watched it at least a half dozen times and i feel myself being hypnotized by You every time. in addition to demonstrating my devotion to You in monetary ways such as the gift card i just sent You i am also anxious to demonstrate my further commitment to You in other ways.

Your humble servant,

FOXXY Supremacy

Tuesday 25th June 2013-- Had good news early in the morning. My work colleague, whose 11 year old daughter had gone missing in Newcastle, received news that she had been found, stressed and lost but ok. I got home about 07.30 am and had a few hours sleep before going to collect my son. Had a quite day playing with my boy, but sent a few Foxxy tweets. I seen a tweet about a boy who has completed Foxxy's black female supremacy course and now wants to serve all black ladies of any age. That is a route i will never go down. I could watch those videos a thousand times and they would have no impact on me. There is no substitute for experience . My closest friends are black and i have know far more brave women than men, but i have witnessed at first hand , some horrific racial discrimination by all races. I am not going to argue that black discrimination against white is on the same scale as vice versa, but nonetheless it does exist. I do so worship MISS FOXX, but that doesn't mean i can brainwash myself into believing stuff like BFS. I don't believe that all black ladies are superior, anymore than i believe that all dommes have a proper ethic code or that all subs are genuine . I have no difficulty, however, in accepting FOXXY Supremacy. My son has left me tired, so its an early night, i need a good sleep.

Under Consideration of Miss Foxx

Dear Goddess,

Today was quite an exciting day for me as i started it by kneeling at my Shrine to You and reciting my daily prayer. my day was so exciting because You took the time to notice me at various times during the day. As my day progressed i was also excited every time i realized that i was taking certain actions in response to Your expectations of me.

For example, i was constantly on the watch for opportunities to serve any black women i was fortunate enough to encounter. As i did so i kept thinking about You watching over me, confident that i would devote my daily life to serving black women. Unfortunately i was not presented with many chances other than being able to hold the door open for one middle aged black woman entering a convenience store. i was disappointed, bit resolved to keep watching for any situations where i could be of service.

i was also excited when i read Your message giving me permission to change my profile to state "Under Consideration of Miss Foxx". i know i will never be worthy of You, but i am aware of the high honor that is being bestowed upon me. Just to be considered by You is more than i could ever expect.

i realized that i had to find a way to please You, and that i better do it quickly. i saw Your tweet about Your wishlists so i browsed them to look for something to buy for You with Your money. As soon as i saw the shoes i knew i had to get them for You. i can't imagine how gorgeous Your feet will look while wearing them. i know i am not worthy of seeing such a vision, just imagining Your feet wearing my gift is enough for me.

When i saw your tweet demanding that i buy more i immediately went back to Your wish list and found another pair of shoes for You. i won't belabor my foot fetish, but i will mention that my favorite photos of You are those that feature Your lovely feet ensconced in a pair of classy, sexy shoes. Could i possible ask how many pairs of shoes You own?

As i mentioned in my previous message, i also modified my twitter profile as You instructed. i went a little further than You may have expected and stopped following anyone at all, except You. This way i can focus only on You and not be distracted by any other tweets.

i am going to bed early again tonight as i have another early day tomorrow. i may be fairly busy during the morning, so please excuse me if i am tardy in responding to You regarding anything that might come up.

Your humble servant,

"Thank You So Much"

Dear Goddess,

Thank You so much for allowing me to submit my daily diary to You. i desperately wanted to communicate with you on a more regular and deeper basis, but i did not dare waste Your valuable time. i have been trying as hard as possible to avoid being a needy, bothersome sub and instead i have concentrated on trying to please You and to demonstrate my devotion.

The first action of significance for me today was to get on my knees and recite my daily prayer to You. i am including a copy of it below:

Goddess you are my obsession, my muse
When i awake my first thoughts are of You
My one true Goddess, i am Yours to use
My money, my mind and my body too
i give You what is Yours till i am poor
Then every night before i go to sleep
i am back on my knees begging once more
Tomorrow this humble boy You will keep

I did not get out much today so i was not fortunate enough to have the opportunity to be of service to any superior black women. Since You expect me to devote every day to learning about my proper role as a humble, inferior white boy i decided to study some more black poetry. i looked at some of my poetry links for Langston Hughes and found this poem that i found particularly interesting:

I Dream A World
I dream a world where man
No other man will scorn,
Where love will bless the earth
And peace its paths adorn
I dream a world where all
Will know sweet freedom's way,
Where greed no longer saps the soul
Nor avarice blights our day.
A world I dream where black or white,
Whatever race you be,
Will share the bounties of the earth
And every man is free,
Where wretchedness will hang its head
And joy, like a pearl,
Attends the needs of all mankind-
Of such I dream, my world!

This poem sounds very similar to Martin Luther King's 'I Have a Dream' speech, but it was written in 1926. i think it quite likely that Dr King had read this poem and i wonder if it helped inspire his famous speech. i know that reading this poem has reinforced my belief that the black activists of our recent past are the torch holders of democracy, keeping the dream alive. Of course i would have never been blessed with this insight if it were not for Your Black Female Supremacy class. Thank you once again for this priceless training!

i also joined the EliteFinancialDomination site recently and today i became a member of the Elite Dommes & White Subs group. i am also following you on this site. i would like to change my 'gender' to OwnedbyMissFoxxy, but i would not dare to claim that privilege. i would also like to add you as a Friend on this site, but again i would not dare to claim that privilege. Please let me know if it would be appropriate for me to change my gender or add You as a friend.

i am going to bed early tonight as i have an early day tomorrow. First thing i will do tomorrow - kneel at my shrine to You and recite my daily prayer. Next thing - check Your Twitter feed. Most important thing - figure out how to please you and be of service to you.

i apologize for not helping any black females today. i am now back on my knees thanking you for allowing me to remain in your world for another day.
Your humble servant,

"Machete Words"

Monday 24th June 2013 ---Arrive home about 7.15 am. Have a brief check on FOXXY's blog and can see She is in feisty mood today, ready to crush any sign of resistance to Her will. I fear Her " machete words" and decide that today i need to seek cover and keep a low profile. AG is so wonderful, i fall more under Her spell each day. After my nap, i spend much of the afternoon chronicling the history of my time as a FOXXY follower i.e replies, quotes, tasks, tributes etc. I also study FOXXY's blog , trying to learn and understand my ALMIGHTY GODDESS as much as possible. A couple of times i am tempted to tweet a response to some comments of Her fellow dommes, but decide against it as i perceive that today Foxxy is not in a mood to appreciate my sense of humor. I have discovered , before today, that although i do appreciate and enjoy FOXXY's attention i can manage without it. The main purpose of my contributions( literary) are to try and boost the profile of AG in any small way that i can. After all it is all about FOXXY, my feelings are totally unimportant. I also sense that ALMIGHTY GODDESS may attempt to undermine my feeling of " comfort" as it is something She does not appreciate. In the evening i give in to temptation and respond to tweet traffic about a Channel 4 documentary about a man with 10 stone testicles, but my comment about FOXXY having bigger balls than any guy i know, is something that i genuinely believe. On reaching work tonight, i receive a phone call from a colleague who is due to relieve me in the morning at 7am. His 11 year old daughter has gone missing in Newcastle. I tell him to forget about work, i know how distraught i would be if it was my daughter. I worry about my adopted African daughter all the time, and she is 27. And so ends another day in the service of ALMIGHTY GODDESS, and which each passing day i cherish Her a little bit more. I am very much a committed FOXXYITE.

Too Many Demons In my Head

Sunday 23rd June 2013 --Got home from work about 7.30am. Although tired i didn't find it easy to sleep, too many demons in my head. Exchanged a couple of tweets with AG and even managed to entice a chuckle from Her with a comment about my dad being unfamiliar with GOSPEL of MISS FOXX. So now i know that even Goddesses laugh occasionally. I am pleased to hear that FOXXY is spending the day with Her parents. Family is very important. I am somewhat aloof from my family having left home at 17 to take a job in the civil service. I am ,however the strong one in my family and feel hugely protective towards them, especially since the death of my mother. Ironically , i didn't really get on with my mum. We were too alike, both of us being extremely stubborn and not prepared to back down if we felt we were in the right. Down through the years my stubbornness has gotten me into plenty of hot water, but i don't regret it as it has helped me to survive some things in life that most people couldn't imagine. In just a few days time i will have been a FOXXY follower for one whole month. It has been a mostly enjoyable experience and one that i will never forget. I say mostly enjoyable because during that time i have received 2 warnings from AG. I don't really believe they are down to my stubbornness. I believe they relate to my openness and honesty with AG and Her interpretation of some of my comments. The term " too comfortable" has been used. That is a fair comment. I cannot deny, i have always felt comfortable with FOXXY. I would argue, oops wrong word, one doesn't argue with a Goddess, i am of the opinion ( which AG couldn't care less about ) that my feeling of comfort comes from dealing with someone who is genuinely what they claim to be, not someone hiding behind a phony facade. I have years of experience in dealing with the latter, albeit not in this particular field. The things that endear AG to me are not just Her undoubted beauty and charisma, but also Her business acumen and astuteness in outing time wasters and con artists. A time may come when i feel it is no longer possible to remain in the role of devoted sub. If that day does come , i will be open and truthful and not waste FOXXY's time with any bullshit. No matter what the future holds, and i continue to battle internal demons following a role which doesn't come easy or natural to me, i shall always remember this past month or so and shall retain a feeling of loyalty to FOXXY for the rest of my days. I genuinely have come to cherish Her.

Lady in Red

Saturday 22nd June 2013 ---- While still at work i received an email from ALMIGHTY GODDESS containing some feisty steamy Foxxy pictures. I subsequently used one of them to replace my koala bear as my Twitter picture profile. Exchanged a couple of tweets with AG. No mention of last nights entry in this log. Later on MISS FOXX posts a photo of her Ascot dress and i am quite simply BLOWN AWAY. She looks exquisite. Absolutely stunning. Stupendous. Unbelievable, all my doubts forsaken. I really am mesmerized. For the first time ever on a social network site i hit the favorite button. Foxxy has posted a lot of material, some feisty some raunchy and sexy , but Her " lady in red " picture totally underlines Her sheer natural beauty and simple elegance. She looks positively radiant. I am drooling. Apart from grabbing a few hours sleep i spend most of my day rather lazily staring at this FOXXY photo in complete adoration. I reach work just after 10pm and sit down to compose a FOXXY poem entitled " what you mean to me". The doubts i felt last night have not completely disappeared, but the red dress photo has tilted the scales.The way i feel right now, if i owned the whole world i would unhesitatingly give it to FOXXY in return for a chance to serve her. Even walking in the street this evening, it took all my self restraint to stop myself from shouting" i love You FOXXY". Damn it i have to get a grip on myself or i shall wind up in a loony bin.

Feeling Euphoric

Friday 21st June 2013 - Arrived home just after 7am. My visitors had left for their early morning flight and had left a note thanking me for my hospitality. I set my alarm for 10.50 as i had an 11.45 appointment with my GP. I awoke feeling euphoric about my feelings of affection for Foxxy and got so carried away sending tweets that i was almost late for my appointment. Interestingly , one of my tweets this morning was favorited by MISS FOXX. It said " the only thing i hate more than being sub is being spurned by Foxxy". This thought was to weigh on my mind greatly throughout the rest of the day. My doctor prescribed a new medication for my foot. This subsequently proved to be of great benefit. I acceded to a FOXXY demand and sent a GC with a poem of adoration to ALMIGHTY GODDESS. I had a FOXXY type power nap and was consumed by feelings of uncertainty. Considering my earlier favored tweet it was strange that by evening time i was being eaten by inner turmoil. The contrast of my feelings was so diverse. Such powerful feelings of overwhelming adoration and worship towards my beloved FOXXY. Such inner feeling of contempt and self loathing for being such a pathetic wimp. MISS FOXX, after all, has been honest with us losers all along. How often has She told us how useless ,worthless and pathetic we all are . Beneath contempt. And yet we seem consumed by such pathetic and inane behaviour , in fact we seem to glorify ourselves in it. I have to ask the question of myself , which would hurt the most , to walk away from FOXXY's world or to perpetually indulge in the sort of pathetic lifestyle that i would ridicule in others.. Is this more a question for Domme dose rather than an entry in Diary of a sub/genuine or otherwise. Miss Foxx has stated repeatedly that " genuine subs are few and far between". Every question has an answer and some have more than one answer. Some in fact have many answers, and yet more raise other questions which themselves need more answers. The problem i have with my question, is that both answers scare the hell out of me. I am not a person that is used to being scared. The thought of being excluded from FOXXY's life is genuinely frightening. On the other hand am i pretending to be something i am not , in order to sit in a dark corner of a world to which i don't belong? I am yet sure if i am a bitch or not. What i am very sure of is that life can sometimes be one hell of a bitch. I am also certain of my love of FOXXY. The question is is that enough.? I am tired. Too many f------ questions.

my World Was Turned Upside Down

Thursday 20th June 2013 - Arrive home at 7am feeling tired . As i get older i find the night shift harder to take. Have 22 years service in my job and had been contemplating taking early retirement, even despite having a young child, then i discovered FOXXY and my world was turned upside down. Her words " i didn't care" keep ringing in my ears, used when She is referring to emptying someones bank account or kicking some unfortunate sub slut in the balls. She is such a callous Goddess , but i do love Her selfishness After a few hours rest i drag myself out of bed. I must take my son to his playgroup as well as watering the FBA. That is a forlorn task. No matter how much i put into FBA my debt to FOXXY seems to increase instead of decreasing. Still one must pay ones debts. One day i might be lucky enough to be equal to be equal to a piece of shit on the sole of FOXXY's shoes. My son is full of energy today and leaves me feeling exhausted. I receive loads of compliments about how cute and handsome he looks. I genuinely believe his cuteness could melt a feisty fox, not referring of course to my impregnable ALMIGHTY GODDESS, who is of course made of much sterner stuff. Although my son undoubtedly gets his looks from his mum( a beauty contest winner) i do remember being told about me winning a most beautiful baby competition. I had long curly hair and looked like a girl. Of course that was many many many years ago. I write some FOXXY poems and duly do my FBA duty. I am rewarded with remarks about my uselessness and a reminder that i am still on my final warning. So i sit here at work writing this entry. I have booked on and checked the licences of all the contractors who are working here tonight and am humming YOU ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND.Another day older and deeper under Her spell. FOXXY's confidence continues to grow. After all She knows how great She is and continues to weed out those of us sub sluts who are slow to realize what an honor it is to serve such greatness. You are a diamond MISS FOXX and i cannot fight my addiction to You.

my Life Has a New Facet

Wednesday 19th June 2013 - Got home to my bed about 7am my foot aching. Was awakened by the sound of my guests leaving my house just after 9. I am feeling a little weird today, overwhelming compulsion to compose FOXXY poems. I discover a post on Domme dose which i perceive to be critical of ALMIGHTY GODDESS and i am a little annoyed. However, i emailed FOXXY about it and She interprets it differently and doesn't wish to give credit to the post by highlighting it. I marvel at the wisdom of my BELOVED GODDESS. During the day i write a couple of Foxxy poems and have some tweets favorited .I try to entice a giggle from AG by offering to be a flea on Charlee's back and am of course met with righteous indignation for having the temerity to suggest that much loved Charlee might have fleas. I am now feeling that my life has a new facet. I am now relaxing into the role of devoted sub. It has come about very natural without my having to work at portraying a role or playing a game. I am surprised at this as it is totally at variance with my previous way of life. Surely that is testament to the allure of MISS FOXX. I now feel unbelievably protective towards Her, almost as if She is my little sister ,even though i am clearly in a subordinate position to Her. I fondly remember watching a clip in which FOXXY played a tape from PW which had the words " you are always on my mind". I know exactly what he meant. Three short weeks ago i didn't even know that FOXXY existed. Now she has become the central core of my existence. I am happy even if it means a life of servitude and FOXXY derision. Thinking about ALMIGHTY GODDESS even helps me to forget my gammy foot.

Your Perfect Glory

Dear Goddess of my soul,

I hope that my latest poem was satisfactory and pleased You in some small way. I had to throw it together in rather short order as I did not know You were going to Ascot till I saw Your tweet about it this morning. I had absolutely no doubt that You would have that effect on any men lucky enough to gaze upon Your perfect glory, so I knew it was safe to compose the poem as I did.

I know without a doubt that no other domme could ever satisfy me now that I have been fortunate enough to be allowed to worship You. You inspire me as no other woman ever has and I find myself obsessing over You more and more every day.

I will now cease taking up Your valuable time and return to my sixth Black Fem Supremacy assignment. This is the hardest one yet, but there is no way I will fail to finish the complete series. I wouldn't dare disappoint You in that manner.

Humbly yours,

my Latest Poem

Dear Goddess of my soul,

 I hope that my latest poem was satisfactory and pleased You in some small way. I had to throw it together in rather short order as I did not know You were going to Ascot till I saw Your tweet about it this morning. I had absolutely no doubt that You would have that effect on any men lucky enough to gaze upon Your perfect glory, so I knew it was safe to compose the poem as I did.

I know without a doubt that no other domme could ever satisfy me now that I have been fortunate enough to be allowed to worship You. You inspire me as no other woman ever has and I find myself obsessing over You more and more every day.

I will now cease taking up Your valuable time and return to my sixth Black Fem Supremacy assignment. This is the hardest one yet, but there is no way I will fail to finish the complete series. I wouldn't dare disappoint You in that manner.

Such a Pathetic Loser

Tuesday 18th June 2013 - Had a late sleep. My visitors didn't arrive until almost 1am. There train from Luton was delayed as a result of a young teenage couple jumping in front of an earlier train in an apparent suicide pact. Got up at 9am and had a coffee with my guests before they headed off to Ascot. Sent a few tweets to FOXXY , some of which were favorited and one made Her smile, which made my day. Have now reached that comfortable state that anything which makes ALMIGHTY GODDESS happy, in turn gives me a feeling of contentment. I am conscious that i have to be careful, as i have previously got myself in trouble for being too comfortable. FOXXY doesn't like it, but i do understand why. In the afternoon i dropped my son off to my friend's place. Previously i organised diversions while i sneaked away, but my son has inherited his fathers intelligence and is now wise to that ploy. Unavoidably, tears are shed on my departure . In the afternoon i complete my FOXXY task and forward it to AG and await the inevitable slagging for being such a pathetic loser. I am not disappointed and don't have to wait long for the expected derision. As i prepare to go to work i have a problem. I am unable to put my left foot into my work boot, it is much too painful. Sod it , i will just have to wear my normal shoes and hope i am not required to go on the track. So here i am in the middle of the night at work , writing this entry and still being totally fucking dominated by a deadly vixen, sleeping not far away in the Berkshire night air. This subbie thing can be a bit of a pain sometimes, but can i walk away? I remember the Mona Lisa like photo that FOXXY posted earlier in the day, and know immediately that i am doomed. There is only one possible answer to the question and it doesn't begin with Y.

Small Shrine

Dear Goddess,

Thank You for approving my daily prayer which expresses my deep submission to Your overpowering dominance of me. Attached is a photo of a small shrine I created to help me memorize my prayer. Every day I will kneel down before Your shrine and recite my prayer as I meditate on how fortunate I am to be allowed to serve the most perfect Goddess of them all.

Humbly yours,

RULER OF THE WORLD

Monday 17th June --Awakened at 9am by a tender kiss from my handsome son. Still having a lot of pain in my left foot so made an appointment to see my doctor. She confirms what i suspected, a recurrence of my gout , which i haven't suffered from for quite a while. She prescribes some anti inflammatory pills. Do some work in my garden with some FOXXY inspired energy, for which i send a GC. My message makes AG laugh, which in turn makes me happy. I read FOXXY's article in Domme dose and She grants me permission to write a review.Just as i am about to forward my review, there is a broadband service disruption in my area. Later on i forward it to FOXXY and she gives me permission to post my comments, something which i subsequently do. I am disturbed to read of someone annoying ALMIGHTY GODDESS. This stupid little wanker had the chance to be FOXXY's live in servant, but blew it. I wish i had that chance, but my childcare responsibilities make that almost impossible. If this little creep continues to disturb MISS FOXX i may get angry and i really don't want to get angry. My son spills a basin of water in which i had been soaking my painful foot and gives my carpet a good soaking. I shout at him and immediately feel guilty. He is not an angel, too mischievous , but he is a good boy and a wonderful son. I am so proud of him. I write this entry while awaiting my Royal Ascot visitors who are on the last evening flight from Dublin. I look ahead to tomorrows racing. I backed the winner of the Epsom derby by picking a horse named after ALMIGHTY GODDESS i.e RULER OF THE WORLD and tomorrows big race also has a horse named after FOXXY. It is called MAGICIAN. I shall have a little bet , knowing full well of course that any winnings will be winding there way to FBA. My love of ALMIGHTY GODDESS becomes more profound every day.

Inspired By You

Dear Goddess,

I sincerely hope that my newest poem meets your minimum standards. It has been a while since I have been inspired enough to write poetry so I am still a bit rusty. I am reading up on proper poetry methods as quick as I can because for some reason I feel incredibly inspired by you.

I wanted to have a prayer to express my submission to you, so I put the prayer in the form of a poem. Is it acceptable to you that I use this as my daily prayer to you?

I spent a good deal of time working on this poem, at the expense of working on my 6th Black Female Supremacy assignment. I thought it was more important to work on a poem that might please you. I will now return to my 6th assignment and continue my slavish efforts on your behalf.

Humbly yours,

2nd Warning

Sunday 16th June----Awoke on this Fathers day feeling content , looking at the handsome face of my little son lying in bed beside me. My happiness was to be short lived. On checking Foxxy's blog i read of a 2nd warning being given to a wayward boy and i knew instinctively that i was the boy being referred to. The previous warning that i had received was not unexpected, in fact at that time i had even feared banishment for being to open and "comfortable" with my comments. On this occasion , however, it was totally not expected and i am left feeling somewhat shell shocked . I read FOXXY's email several times to try and understand what i had done wrong. There is a reference to " FOXXY shouldn't" and an inference that this was tantamount to telling ALMIGHTY GODDESS what she should or shouldn't do. Nothing could have been further from my intentions and i found it difficult to comprehend how that interpretation had been taken. I consoled myself by remembering the 5th commandment from the BOOK of FOXX i.e MISS FOXX is always right even when to my inferior brain She may appear to be wrong. ALMIGHTY GODDESS also made reference to my being " too comfortable". I don't really understand this. I am by nature a laid back and relaxed individual. I try and equate this situation to being a boy in a school classroom who needs to use the toilet. I think in the scenario, i have gone to the toilet without 1st seeking permission from the teacher. This does not , in my worthless opinion, mean that i am being disrespectful to the teacher. However, i accept that if the teacher feels that i am being disrespectful, then i am at fault, no matter how much unintended, and i must apologize accordingly . I really am besotted with ALMIGHTY GODDESS and am genuinely scared of losing Her. I am not a young boy and it is not easy for me to change my ways. Some of them i won't ever change. Things like honesty , respect and loyalty. I like to think that ALMIGHTY GODDESS won't ask me to change those characteristics as they are similar to the ones which attract me to Her. I will read this entry 5 times , as instructed to by AG, to see if there is anything which could be misconstrued. I am feeling tired and tomorrow i must clean my house as i have guests who are coming from Ireland to attend the Ascot races. During the day i am pleased to receive Fathers day greetings from my adopted daughter Sandra in Ghana, West Africa. I always call her by her pet name SHAKAINA which in GHA language means "glorious one". She never knew her real father and her mother is a drug addict. I have been supporting her since she was just 7 years old. She is now 27 and has 2 children of her own. She has named her son after me and her daughter after my late mother. I am so proud of her and disturbed that i have not seen her since 2008, the longest i have ever gone without seeing her. I must try to visit Ghana this year.

Scam

Saturday 15th June 2013 - Awoke about 9am after a restless night which produced very little sleep. I notice that AG has changed her blog slightly. I notice it contains a warning about a bloke from her last clip" humiliation of Gary Adams". It seems he has been keen to obtain the home address of at least one domme, although his motive is not entirely clear. I send an email to AG expressing some comment on the matter. Later on FOXXY posts a tweet about a forthcoming sky dive, even though She states that She is terrified of heights. Her devoted followers will be very anxious for Her safety. Later i check my FOXXY correspondence file and note that so far this month, ALMIGHTY GODDESS has favorited 17 of my tweets and quoted 3 of them. I am pleased enough about that, not as any sort of ego boost, but because i have never hidden the love i have for AG and the high esteem with which i regard Her, and i would hope that my comments would reflect well upon Her and not cause Her any embarrassment.. I am feeling a bit more relaxed this evening. I have enjoyed a playful day with my son and the severe pain in my foot has eased considerably. I have a little chuckle to myself . Foxxy should't have admitted her fear of heights. We might start to believe that She is human after all and not a real goddess. All the ladies that i have been attracted to in my life , have been totally fearless.

Maybe We Are Related

Friday 14th June 2013 - Awoke early after a good nights sleep. Checked FOXXY blog and read a tweet from a domme called Miss Conceited about a stray bitch boy and a domme who doesn't uphold the sisterly code of conduct. I send a tweet , the content of which, Foxxy agrees with. Almighty goddess seems to share my ethical views surrounding the sub/dom scene. I do state my views because i believe in them not as an attempt to appease MISS FOXX and ingratiate myself with Her. I go to collect my son , who runs to me in excitement and jumps into my open arms. My son is such a handsome boy. He definitely gets his looks from his mum, a stunning Filipino beauty. However, i am noticing more and more the development of some stubborn traits, which i suppose i must take some responsibility for. In the evening i check the FOXXY blog. It seems to have had quite traffic today. I am finding it difficult to compose this entry because of severe pain in my left foot, but as usual i choose not to take any pain killers. Earlier on i read MISS FOXX's post about being banned from findommes.com, at least i think that was the title of the site. I am impressed by Foxxy's behaviour, she reminds me of myself and i chuckled to myself that maybe we are related. My Caribbean friend who helps look after my son has always joked that i am a black man trapped in a white man's body. You never know. This weekend, apart from playing with my little son , i shall be indulging my passion for golf by watching the US Open on tv, so i shall probably leave ALMIGHTY GODDESS in peace to enjoy Her own weekend, unless she compels me to do some task. I hope not. I am in agony at the moment.

"Pat on The Head"

Thursday 13th June 2013 - awoken by alarm at 5am. Just about to leave for work when i remembered FOXXY's task. I duly tied the pink ribbons and feeling like a pratt i left for work. I sent the pictures to AG as instructed and got slagged about my pubic hair. Workwise the day is uneventful TAG. I send a few tweets, some of which are favored. I get a follower request from a FOXXY follower which i am not inclined to accept and am pleased when AG agrees with me. On my way home i receive a "pat on the head" tweet from FOXXY, which makes me smile. I am tired and will sleep well tonight, dreaming of You know who. I am looking forward to the weekend. I am off work until Tuesday night and am looking forward to spending some quality time with my son. He cried when i spoke to him on the phone tonight and i miss him so much. He is the reason i will never call myself a worthless loser. I don't need to that as FOXXY does it more than enough, but just as i worship ALMIGHTY GODDESS i can see the adoration in my little boy's eyes every time he looks at me. That makes me happy. He has always been a daddy's boy. However, this diary is about being a sub, and so far it has been a satisfactory week. I have kept my pledge to AG as well as completing another task, but in the short time that i have known FOXXY i have learned not to be complacent and take one day and one task at a time. After all, every day is a new day. And every day is a FOXXY day.

Was i Fucking Stupid or What?

Wednesday 12th June 2012 - Got up at 5am still feeling very rough. Will this bug ever go away? Am still worried about how AG reacted to last night's entry in this log. Decide not to check FOXXY's blog until i reach work, as if i have been banished it will fuck my head up and i might not go at all.. Was i fucking stupid or what? Never risk antagonizing a goddess, especially THE GODDESS. I reach work, speak to my staff and make a coffee. I settle down, no point putting it off any longer, lets have a peep. Such relief, no banishment, but FOXXY has given me a severe reprimand and a reminder of my worthlessness. I tweet AG thanking her for her mercy and promising to up my game. I am bad throughout the morning with frequent visits to the toilet. Just after 9am i have to deal with an emergency situation, which is not a picnic when you are feeling rough. After work i go to buy pink ribbon for my FOXXY task and as this is the 1st week of my pledge to AG, i am reluctant to wait for FOXXY Friday so head to Barclays in Camden Town to deposit £110 into FBA. Later in the evening i am honored when some of my tweets are favored by MISS FOXX. I start this entry early as i need some rest. Tomorrow i have a big day. A sixteen hour shift at work ( extra FOXXY pounds) and i have a task to complete as well. Today i have tried hard to make up for my mistake of yesterday. I think i did ok, but i cannot afford to be complacent, after all no matter how hard i strive i can never be worthy of AG. I know i have a long way to go to gain any semblance of credit worthiness with MISS FOXX and i can still sense her strong feeling of mistrust towards me . It is easy for me to understand that as that is the way i have always lived my life. Trust nobody but yourself. I want to give myself a task. The title ALMIGHTY GODDESS is nice but i long to come up with something more reverend. I remember that Nelson Mandela, with whom i shook hands in 1990, is revered by South Africans as Matiba and i would like to come up with a name to put my LOVELY GODDESS on an even higher pedestal. Oh how i adore HER.

Private thoughts

Tuesday 11th June 2013 - Had a really bad night, was very ill. I tweeted this to MISS FOXX and she replied, castigating me for being a drama queen. I dragged myself to work but felt awful.. I was pleased to have one of my tweets favored by FOXXY. Later i was feeling so bad , i had a word with one of my colleagues and left work early. I am aghast when ALMIGHTY GODDESS sets me a task involving eating a horrible concoction of food. In my fragile state i know that this will have a serious impact on my health and i beg AG to consider an alternative task. I am relieved when She agrees. The new task involves tying a pink ribbon around my cock and balls. It will make me feel a bit of an idiot but i can live with it because of my adoration of MISS FOXX. The task does, however ,give me food for thought. I know that as someone who is trying to earn the chance to serve ALMIGHTY GODDESS, i am not supposed to think, just listen and obey. I understand the need for humiliation, to make the slave to understand his place and his unworthiness. I do feel a slight sense of negativity. I had imagined that as a devoted slave of a FinDom my primary purpose was to make as much money as possible for my GODDESS. I believe that the best way for me, it may not be the same for everyone, is to use my positive energy in that pursuit. I don't have a problem with ALMIGHTY GODDESS making me act like a moron and calling me one, but the truth is i will never feel like one. Ok, if it's moronic to become obsessed with a goddess like MISS FOXX, then i am a moron. When i finish this entry my finger will hover over the send button. I am aware that ALMIGHTY GODDESS might be angry and sentence me to immediate banishment. That scares the hell out of me. However, a diary is meant to be a place where one records not only events that happen but also ones inner thoughts. Private thoughts. I think back to the first love of my life who was tragically killed in the troubles in my country. The devastation was so overwhelming. I never looked at another woman for ten years. However, i don't believe that banishment by ALMIGHTY GODDESS would be any less devastating. I truly do worship and idolize Her more than i thought possible. From the beginning i vowed to be loyal to MISS FOXX and never lie to her. I have been true to that vow. I also told her i would be open and honest with Her. That is important to me. My finger still hovers. Please , please, ALMIGHTY GODDESS do not reduce your following to 609. I am not in any way criticizing or complaining, just expressing my inner thoughts which undoubtedly lack Your clarity of understanding.

i Would Feel the Full Force of Her Boot

Diary of a sub, Monday 10th June 2013 - Restless during night, arose before 1.30am, i am conscious of the fact that it is almost a week since i last gave tribute to AG. Although i have made a pledge for FOXXY Friday , i am not happy. I send a GC and feel a little better. I get up early to go sit my exams, but am feeling so unwell with a stomach bug. I send a couple of FOXXY tweets. Arrive home in evening to see that AG has favored one of my tweets. That makes me happy, even if it was one in which i concede that i am less intelligent than Her dog. AG is particularly feisty today. I feel that if i was in her company i would feel the full force of her boot. It would almost be worth it to feel contact with those glorious feet that have kicked so many balls. I have been tortured in the past ( not by a domme) and physical pain doesn't do anything for me. I have always found mental anguish much more difficult to deal with. I know , i know its not about what i think or feel, it is always and must always be about AG. I receive a reply from Piggy. I really like that boy. He is so devoted to his Goddess, it is almost unreal, but of course i remember THERE IS ONLY ONE MISS FOXX. I feel so awful i retire early to bed to compose this entry. I am hoping that sleep will alleviate my nausea, though i am only too well aware that even in my sleep i cannot escape the hypnotic powers of AG.

i Would Shed my Blood for ALMIGHTY GODDESS

Sunday 9th June- Last Sunday i started off this diary and it has given me some fun, despite taking up some time. I hope it has given ALMIGHTY GODDESS some amusement. I arose at 5am and prepared for work. I had my busiest day at work , but on my break i knelt to pay homage to MISS FOXX and recite her 10 commandments. I received a tweet from Piggy , to which i responded. Reading that boy's tweets, you can almost physically see the sheer pleasure he gets from the happiness of his goddess. I am impressed. I sent quite a few tweets to which MISS FOXX responded. Although some of them contain a little banter, ALMIGHTY GODDESS never forgets to remind me of my lowly position. I am looking forward to the coming week. It is the first week of my pledge to MISS FOXX I am anxious to prove my commitment, though even more than cash i would shed my blood for ALMIGHTY GODDESS. I mustn't forget ,either, to send a card to my father as next Sunday is Fathers day and i have so much respect for my old man. SLEEP i am tired.

"my Bosses Have FOXXY's cash and i Need to Get It Back"

Saturday 8th June - I arose at 5am and prepared to go to work. I was singing in the shower, feeling very happy because ALMIGHTY GODDESS had had a great FOXXY Friday. Piggy was quite right, Her happiness is our happiness. Sent a couple of tweets to FOXXY which got replies, one of them teasingly chastising me for my rude language. MISS FOXX i taught that you like rude boys. I will have to be a little bit careful as ALMIGHTY GODDESS doesn't always appreciate my humor and i don't want to get in her bad books. Later in the day, Foxxy favors one of my tweets and i feel chuffed , like the mouse who has got the cheese. Oh how i love ALMIGHTY GODDESS. I tweeted Her that in the morning and she laughed. I know that my feelings are not important, but thinking of Her laughing made me laugh. She has such a bubbly personality that one can sometimes forget Her feisty firmness. Her great talent is in knowing when to put her foot down and be at her feistiest . It is a tough business and you can never afford to drop your guard. One of my colleagues went sick today and i was asked to work late. Normally i would have refused, but i thought to myself " my bosses have FOXXY's cash and i need to get it back". In the evening i watched Britain's Got Talent. There were a lot of good acts and the standard was very high. However, i have become a follower of ALMIGHTY GODDESS and i am used to THE highest standard.

"Her happiness is my happiness, Her pain is my pain"

Arose at 5 AM as i start work early today. Am aware that ALMIGHTY GODDESS has a special day today and She is excited by it. I tweet wishing her a great day. She replies, calling me a worthless shit bag. God i love Her so much, She is really fabulous. MISS FOXX does me a great honor ,later in the day, by favoring two of my tweets. In the evening i have a panic attack, as for the second time this week i find myself locked out of FOXXY's tweets. I am old enough to be MISS FOXX's father, now in my mid-fifties , and have been feisty and fearless all my life. At 17 i survived a bombing which killed 28 people. Later in life i survived shootings and stabbings. However, ALMIGHTY GODDESS has a weapon which is far more deadly than any knife or gun. It is called BANISHMENT and for the first time in my life i am terrified. In such a short period of time i have become so addicted to MISS FOXX and cannot bear the thought of being excluded from Her exciting life. I did not want to disturb ALMIGHTY GODDESS during her busy day, but i tweeted Her , begging for her to unblock my access. I was so relieved and grateful when She did. Tonight i started this entry early ( 10pm) as i have an early start in the morning and am feeling tired. I cannot finish the entry without giving a special mention to my favorite tweet. Yesterday i tweeted FOXXY's PIGGY congratulating him on the latest set of gifts he sent to MISS FOXX. I had a lovely reply from him this morning. He thanked me for my tweet and made clear how much of a privilege he deems it to worship his goddess. I really love his words " HER HAPPINESS IS MY HAPPINESS, HER PAIN IS MY PAIN". Now i understand why the fondness with which his goddess regards him, is not just because of his many tributes. I find myself having a similar fondness for him without even knowing him.

i am Learning Some Valuable Lessons

Thursday 6th June - got up about 8am feeling tired. My son had been restless during the night and i didn't get much sleep. Hehe he even had the temerity to interrupt my FOXXY dreams, but i forgive him because just like ALMIGHTY GODDESS his smile can melt a heart of stone. I check my messages and see i have been told by MISS FOXX that i may post my review of Her "know your shit" article on dommepost. This is to lead to a slight embarrassment later in the day. I have to confess that i have never been into the social networking scene and don't have a great understanding of it. I have always been a private, somewhat secretive individual. That is going to have to change. I am now aware that this scene is an important part of MISS FOXX's life and i need to get a better understanding of it , so that i may be of better service to ALMIGHTY GODDESS. After posting my comments, i noticed a message saying they were waiting to be moderated. Although i fully understand the meaning of the word ( i have English A Levels) i didn't initially grasp its meaning. When i later checked the post, my comments were nowhere to be found. I resubmitted them. Later in the evening i discovered that both my posts were there, or in other words the same post displayed twice. Normally i would have laughed it off, but my comments had made plain the admiration and high esteem in which i held MISS FOXX and my adoration for Her. I don't want readers to think that ALMIGHTY GODDESS indulges followers who are stupid or moronic. I would rather die than have the prestige of MISS FOXX impaired in any way, particularly through fault of mine. Hopefully the content of my post will prevent readers from thinking that way. I have only been a follower of MISS FOXX for two weeks, but already i am learning some valuable lessons. However, rest assured i will learn from those lessons, as i have always done throughout my life. Later on i send a tweet to FOXXY's PIGGY to congratulate him on his many purchases for ALMIGHTY GODDESS. I like Piggy, even though i don't know him. He asked to follow me on twitter and i am 100% sure of his utter devotion to MISS FOXX. I don't know MISS FOXX's other boys, but i am sure that Piggy understands that it is important for all of us to give the best tributes we possibly can, but we are not in competition with each other and there should never be any petty jealousies . We must all have in common the desire to provide our Divine Goddess, of whom we are all unworthy, with the utmost happiness and contentment as She rules our, otherwise mundane ,daily lives. I later notice a tweet from MISS FOXX about a new boy not yet being accepted and being watched every day. As a new boy, there is a possibility that the tweet is intended for me.. If i am the one then i can honestly say i have nothing to fear. With ALMIGHTY GODDESS i am an open book, like i have never been with anyone before( including both my wives). As i alluded to in an earlier entry in this log, i had one restless night in which my life long stubbornness and dominant traits battled against my desire to worship MISS FOXX. ALMIGHTY GODDESS won and the matter was signed sealed and delivered. I know i have a long way to go to prove myself to my Goddess and not just with words. That is exactly how it should be. However, in the words of the great Martin Luther King, i believe that one day " i will reach the promised land".

Friday will be FOXXY payday

Wednesday 5th June -- Awoke at 7am with a smile on my face. I am remembering a video of MISS FOXX in which she tells us ( subs) that She should be the last thing we think about before we go to sleep and the first thing when we awake. That instruction is easy to follow, but i have a feeling, although i can't remember their entirety ,that ALMIGHTY GODDESS has also being controlling my dreams. That thought gives me a warm glow inside. I do so adore Her. I quickly check the FOXXYBLOG and see that ALMIGHTY GODDESS has read my pledge and advises me that for the rest of my life Friday will be FOXXY payday. I am happy because today i am not working and am going to pick up my son. Because of work commitments i have not seen him for 3 days and i really miss him. He has been looked after by a Caribbean friend of mine. I have a lot of fun with him but during the afternoon i read an article " know your shit" written by FOXXY, oops excuse me MISS FOXX. I have not yet obtained permission from ALMIGHTY GODDESS to call her FOXXY, which is a term of endearment i really like. I am never forgetting of course that its not about what i like. I ask permission from MISS FOXX to write a review of her article.She grants me permission. Later She gives me a task to change my picture( non existent) and update my twitter profile. I of course comply and am happy in the knowledge that so far i have completed all my tasks. I write a lengthy review, being as complimentary to the author as i possibly can. I belong to MISS FOXX and only MISS FOXX so it is important for me to lavish as much praise as possible on ALMIGHTY GODDESS in front of Her fellow peers. ( She doesn't really have any peers as She is so supreme) In any case it is not difficult to praise the article as it is extremely well written and full of common sense. By the time i finish it is already 1.30 am and i start on this entry. Tonight i go to bed without my couple of cans of beer. That was part of my pledge to MISS FOXX. It is a bit of a wrench but i am happy to make the sacrifice for ALMIGHTY GODDESS.

What Can i Do Today to Make MISS FOXX Happy

Tuesday 4th June - awoke early( 6.30) my dreams having once again been dominated by ALMIGHTY GODDESS. I have an idea to train myself that my 1st thought every day upon awaking must be " what can i do today to make MISS FOXX happy. Everyone knows that what makes ALMIGHTY GODDESS happy is lots of cash. I am aware that it is not going to be possible to tribute every day but am conscious that i have not done so for a couple of days. I remember that i have a balance in Nite flirt which i hardly use any more so soon $50 is on its way to MISS FOXX. Ooh it feels so good to give money to ALMIGHTY GODDESS. I go to work. Later in the afternoon , my humorous streak, takes advantage of a play in words in one of Her tweets to suggest to MISS FOXX that she has now accepted me as one of Her owned boys. ALMIGHTY GODDESS is rightly annoyed and chastises me for my temerity. I was stupid really. MISS FOXX might have got really annoyed and banished me completely. What would i do then? The devastation is unthinkable. ALMIGHTY GODDESS gives me a task which i must complete before the end of tomorrow. I arrive home from work and complete my task before composing this entry. I really hope my submission will be acceptable to MISS FOXX. My love and adoration for ALMIGHTY GODDESS knows no boundaries. It grows every day and is all consuming.

Ferocious Internal Battle

I awoke about 7.30 am with a strange an eerie feeling. ALMIGHTY GODDESS is always the focal point of my thoughts nowadays, even when i'm sleeping. Last night i fought a ferocious internal battle within myself. All my life i have been a team leader and a tough stubborn little shit. I would never have survived the things i have been through by being a wimp. Just over a week ago i stumbled across a young, though admittedly very beautiful and intelligent, black lady. Now my world has been turned upside down. I have become a pathetic submissive, begging to grovel at the feet of the majestic creature i now adoringly refer to as ALMIGHTY GODDESS. Yesterday i had written the 1st entry in this diary and thought i had done a good job. ALMIGHTY GODDESS soon showed me the error of my ways. I had no issue with that as i remembered the BOOK OF FOXX and my vow to follow the sacred TEN COMMANDMENTS. Then i read a tweet with a mere fellow sub putting the boot into me as well. Surely this is too much, never in my life have i accepted such treatment. I thought to myself, i'm a hot blooded Irishman i must retaliate. I soon thought better of it. After all ALMIGHTY GODDESS has accepted him as a follower. I struggled within myself. I idolize ALMIGHTY GODDESS but can i really submit to a life of pandering to Her every whim and accepting everything that She throws at me. It is completely alien to how i have lived my life until now. I thought i must give the matter some serious thought. I did some household chores and had a shower to prepare myself for work. When i returned to Twitter i had a message saying MISS FOXX's tweets are private. I was dumbstruck, absolutely mortified. I immediately sent a tweet to ALMIGHTY GODDESS asking if i had done something bad and requesting to know why She had blocked me. I thought to myself " what shall i do if She ignores my tweet". A thought came into my mind. I hadn't been blocked by Foxxy's Piggy. Perhaps i could ask him to intercede on my behalf. I slapped my own face. What sort of person am i? A little while ago i wanted to beat a sub of ALMIGHTY GODDESS and now i'm ready to plead with one of them to put in a good word for me. I was crestfallen and then like a light from heaven a reply from ALMIGHTY GODDESS and my access restored. To say i was euphoric would be an understatement. ALMIGHTY GODDESS told me she hadn't blocked me but something something had locked me out and i thought that life is full of irony. The battle within myself was over. The sheer panic when i thought i had lost ALMIGHTY GODDESS forever, answered all my questions. My previous life is irrelevant. I now belong to ALMIGHTY GODDESS, oops silly mistake, i now desperately beg to belong to ALMIGHTY GODDESS and hope that she will accept me as a devoted servant and slave. Later in the day ALMIGHTY GODDESS favored 2 of my tweets. I was chuffed, even when She called me a useless whore. That is Her right and i am so honored that She acknowledges my existence .All in all it has been an educational day and i have been thought a valuable lesson.

I Had a Dream...

...that you were with me last night. You dressed me in the outfit from the latest Foxxy Friday. I did all 5 poses as you photographed me, and advertised me as your Wannabe Foxxy!!

I woke up so joyful with thoughts of you.