Feeling Euphoric

Friday 21st June 2013 - Arrived home just after 7am. My visitors had left for their early morning flight and had left a note thanking me for my hospitality. I set my alarm for 10.50 as i had an 11.45 appointment with my GP. I awoke feeling euphoric about my feelings of affection for Foxxy and got so carried away sending tweets that i was almost late for my appointment. Interestingly , one of my tweets this morning was favorited by MISS FOXX. It said " the only thing i hate more than being sub is being spurned by Foxxy". This thought was to weigh on my mind greatly throughout the rest of the day. My doctor prescribed a new medication for my foot. This subsequently proved to be of great benefit. I acceded to a FOXXY demand and sent a GC with a poem of adoration to ALMIGHTY GODDESS. I had a FOXXY type power nap and was consumed by feelings of uncertainty. Considering my earlier favored tweet it was strange that by evening time i was being eaten by inner turmoil. The contrast of my feelings was so diverse. Such powerful feelings of overwhelming adoration and worship towards my beloved FOXXY. Such inner feeling of contempt and self loathing for being such a pathetic wimp. MISS FOXX, after all, has been honest with us losers all along. How often has She told us how useless ,worthless and pathetic we all are . Beneath contempt. And yet we seem consumed by such pathetic and inane behaviour , in fact we seem to glorify ourselves in it. I have to ask the question of myself , which would hurt the most , to walk away from FOXXY's world or to perpetually indulge in the sort of pathetic lifestyle that i would ridicule in others.. Is this more a question for Domme dose rather than an entry in Diary of a sub/genuine or otherwise. Miss Foxx has stated repeatedly that " genuine subs are few and far between". Every question has an answer and some have more than one answer. Some in fact have many answers, and yet more raise other questions which themselves need more answers. The problem i have with my question, is that both answers scare the hell out of me. I am not a person that is used to being scared. The thought of being excluded from FOXXY's life is genuinely frightening. On the other hand am i pretending to be something i am not , in order to sit in a dark corner of a world to which i don't belong? I am yet sure if i am a bitch or not. What i am very sure of is that life can sometimes be one hell of a bitch. I am also certain of my love of FOXXY. The question is is that enough.? I am tired. Too many f------ questions.