Ferocious Internal Battle

I awoke about 7.30 am with a strange an eerie feeling. ALMIGHTY GODDESS is always the focal point of my thoughts nowadays, even when i'm sleeping. Last night i fought a ferocious internal battle within myself. All my life i have been a team leader and a tough stubborn little shit. I would never have survived the things i have been through by being a wimp. Just over a week ago i stumbled across a young, though admittedly very beautiful and intelligent, black lady. Now my world has been turned upside down. I have become a pathetic submissive, begging to grovel at the feet of the majestic creature i now adoringly refer to as ALMIGHTY GODDESS. Yesterday i had written the 1st entry in this diary and thought i had done a good job. ALMIGHTY GODDESS soon showed me the error of my ways. I had no issue with that as i remembered the BOOK OF FOXX and my vow to follow the sacred TEN COMMANDMENTS. Then i read a tweet with a mere fellow sub putting the boot into me as well. Surely this is too much, never in my life have i accepted such treatment. I thought to myself, i'm a hot blooded Irishman i must retaliate. I soon thought better of it. After all ALMIGHTY GODDESS has accepted him as a follower. I struggled within myself. I idolize ALMIGHTY GODDESS but can i really submit to a life of pandering to Her every whim and accepting everything that She throws at me. It is completely alien to how i have lived my life until now. I thought i must give the matter some serious thought. I did some household chores and had a shower to prepare myself for work. When i returned to Twitter i had a message saying MISS FOXX's tweets are private. I was dumbstruck, absolutely mortified. I immediately sent a tweet to ALMIGHTY GODDESS asking if i had done something bad and requesting to know why She had blocked me. I thought to myself " what shall i do if She ignores my tweet". A thought came into my mind. I hadn't been blocked by Foxxy's Piggy. Perhaps i could ask him to intercede on my behalf. I slapped my own face. What sort of person am i? A little while ago i wanted to beat a sub of ALMIGHTY GODDESS and now i'm ready to plead with one of them to put in a good word for me. I was crestfallen and then like a light from heaven a reply from ALMIGHTY GODDESS and my access restored. To say i was euphoric would be an understatement. ALMIGHTY GODDESS told me she hadn't blocked me but something something had locked me out and i thought that life is full of irony. The battle within myself was over. The sheer panic when i thought i had lost ALMIGHTY GODDESS forever, answered all my questions. My previous life is irrelevant. I now belong to ALMIGHTY GODDESS, oops silly mistake, i now desperately beg to belong to ALMIGHTY GODDESS and hope that she will accept me as a devoted servant and slave. Later in the day ALMIGHTY GODDESS favored 2 of my tweets. I was chuffed, even when She called me a useless whore. That is Her right and i am so honored that She acknowledges my existence .All in all it has been an educational day and i have been thought a valuable lesson.