This morning I came back from a short trip to Singapore, a trip that was totally unexpected 4 days ago. This happens a lot in my job. I'm following several countries and urgent situations often lead me to fly at short, sometimes very short notice.
On my way back, I reflected on my recent interaction with Miss Foxx, the Goddess I have been repeatedly begging to allow me to crawl to any available spot within Her pig sty. While doing so, I realized what a pathetic wannabe slave Goddess probably thinks I am. One day begging on my knees, crying like a little girl in the hope She will bless me with another opportunity to prove myself, the other day disappearing without any explanation.
What must Goddess think of me? I couldn't get rid of that thought as my plane landed this morning and I reached home hastily in the hope Miss Foxx would still be online when I log in so I can tell Her how sorry I am, how determined to work hard to show Her I can, indeed, be a decent addition to Her already crowded kennel.
But Miss Foxx was gone, of course. It's late in Europe and ... why would She care? I am nothing, She is everything. I need Her, She doesn't, will never need me. She is Beauty, Intelligence, Charisma. I'm beyond pathetic. Period. She was born to rule, I was born to obey Her.
So here I am, writing these lines while surfing Her website, reading Her comments, staring at Her perfect pictures. And most of all coming to terms, at last, with the obvious: Goddess is the One. The Owner I've been seeking for many, many years. A Superior being with the ability to effectively take over my life and control every aspect of it, screw my mind, brainwash, mold, break, humiliate and transform me into whatever freak She want me to be. That is it. I will be whatever Goddess wants me to be. This is not for me to decide.
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