Battles Ahead

Thursday 11th July 2013 --- Awakened early full of enthusiasm for the battles ahead. During the night i had a dream about a book i can easily write " The uphill battle against FOXXY addiction". The tasks facing me today are not easy, but i really am so good at what i do , and as i have said before, my knowledge is encyclopaediac when it comes to employment law, not far behind on criminal law. No time for FOXXY blog today. All my cases went well, especially one for young black lady, where i really kicked ass ( FOXXY influence) . However, in all four cases , judgement was reserved, to be given later. Arrived home in evening to be greeted by a " wheres my money " message from FOXXY. I am surprised. Although last week i REDEEMED MY PLEDGE EARLY , i had clearly stated in my diary entry that i was going to be totally tied up today and would have no time for FOXXY blog , let alone getting to FBA. We exchange several tweets, before Foxxy remembers that today is only Thursday. I am not annoyed, but i am hurt. FOXXY says she doesn't care about my hurt. Fine that is Her prerogative. I don't really care if She cares about my hurt or not. What i am disappointed in is that She doesn't fucking understand that my pledge is my honor , my respect, my fucking everything. Foxxy doesn't know me very well if She thinks i would ever dream of sacrificing my honor for money. Money has never had a big interest for me. I have been giving a lot of thought to this whole FinDom scene. It is so full of contradictions and also seems to be about drawing a line where fantasy ends and reality begins. A few days ago i had a bit of a heart to heart with FOXXY. We talked about respect, and how although in different roles of Goddess and sub, we could still have mutual respect for each other.. She stated that it was an acceptable contradiction. I had no problem with that at all, and in fact didn't even believe it to be a contradiction at all, remembering enemies for whom i had respect. The contradiction certainly doesn't end there. I can't remember the number of times i have heard FOXXY tell a sub that it is not about what there needs are , only about the needs of their Goddess. That is probably the greatest contradiction in the whole FinDom scene. The whole survival and profitability of Goddesses depends solely on the NEEDS OF SUBS. The need to be used, the need to be abused , the need to be humiliated, and most important of all, THE NEED NOT TO BE IGNORED. One of my favorite authors, Oscar Wilde, once said that the greatest contempt you can show to anyone is to ignore them. I wholeheartedly believe that to be true. On another front, I am thinking, that although new to this scene i should write a bit more about it . I have briefly looked on Domme dose at Moneyslave Matt ( no clue ) and the famous Irv O'Neil ( not in my league ). I have very strong views on the whole scene and on 95% of them i believe i am in agreement with ALMIGHTY GODDESS. Next week i embark upon a self imposed restraint from the Foxxy blog . She doesn't believe i can do it, but i believe it will be a piece of cake, such is my willpower. I don't crave or get a big thrill from the abuse or financial rape, or physical punishment. I know that FOXXY believes that Her strongest trump is the ignore card. I am not worried about that. Although i am a good team player, i have prefered most of my life to operate as a lone wolf. ( has anyone ever heard of a fox defeating a wolf hehe) I can cope with being ignored. All of which begs the question, why do i chose to follow MISS FOXX. That is an interesting question, but the answer must wait for another day.